Wow, this is my first blog in a journey I know will probably take a couple of years. I am going to do something that I know alot of people will frown on and my parents will probably hate.
I'm young. I'm 21. And I'd like to be a single mom.
I understand it's not a choice to go into lightly and maybe I don't have a ticking clock like alot of women do. And if I go up to anyone in the street and ask if me making this choice is a good idea I garuntee 98% of the answers would be, "Sweetie, your young, you have your whole life ahead of you to look for the right man and to start a family."
I get it. I really do. I'm young. I have a good job...I've worked there almost two years and I think I'll stay with it.
The whole, You can look for the right man, I get it. A-lot of the population think children should come from two parent homes. Whether that be a man and a woman or two women or two men.
They can split the responsibility and the love. I know. I respect it. I have two friends who are married and have a child. I’ve told ONE of them I’d like to do it and she said she’d support me no matter what.
Then a week later she said I should seriously think about it. I have.I’ve thought about it since I was 18. Three years isn’t very much I realize that. I would like to be a young mother. My mother had me when she was 19 and here I am two years later and I’m single.
Don’t get me wrong I have had relationships. They haven’t been good and my experiences have just led me to stop before I even GET to the crush level with men. I have trust issues. Right now a relationship with someone is the last thing on my mind and trusting any men? Will not happen. Past experiences will not allow it. I’d rather be alone then be in a relationship.Because of that and knowing that I won’t let myself fall in love with anyone, it puts a kink in having kids.
Have I always wanted to be a wife? No. Have I always wanted to be a mother? Yes.I turned 21 in March. I did my party thing. June, I got rid of all my friends who seemed to be addicted to the drama and settled down with 3 important friends. Two married with kids, one in college and I was happy. I was content. By August I was beginning to feel something was missing and I thought back to my dreams of having a baby.
Am I wrong to want to try the single mother route? Based off the reaction of my friend who told me I should seriously think about it, yes.
I’ve spent the last 3 months researching and thinking seriously about it and I’d like to put my dreams into a plan and start slowly.
I’m not going to run out and go see a doctor and next month try and get pregnant. No way! I understand it takes time and money and emotional stability to try and go down this road alone. I’m too afraid to say anything to my other friends or any friends I’ve made online.
I’ll be 22 in 4 months and I’ve decided that if nothing happens by then or if I still feel the same away about having a baby as I do now…Then I’ll stop researching online and put my thoughts into words by visiting a doctor.
Am I ridiculous for even typing this up?
For starting a blog?
I really don’t know but this is it.
Step 1-Look for support.
*Nadine*
